Mouthful of cobwebs

Money - that's what I want!

2005-11-13T21:07:00.000+01:00

Funny, that given my first comment on the financial aspect of my business that I get a few comments?

Well, given that a VAT return is required at approx 60k at turnover, this would require sales of £1k a week or just over!

As I am a retail genius (a quote from a famously retail w*nker who made me redundant a few years ago,) I am happy to say that my sales are better than that!

Retail is detail, its 80% perspiration and 20% inspiration etc etc!

I can`t help it if people like me robbing them can I?

Suffice to say I am still broke, in debt, and working 7 days a week.

Sales for vanity, profit for sanity and "the family" are another line on the "Expense" heading!

I am so happy though without a boss, head office, emails from t*ssers trying to justify their existence, even though its cold, wet and dark sometimes on the market!

As McD`s would say "I`m lovin` it!"

All Mod Cons!

2005-11-01T20:59:00.000+01:00

For those still tuned in, the band has launched its web site: The Reaction

Work is still in progress but having just seen the latest version myself, I have to say I think it looks pretty cool!

Life is returning to normal, (if there is such a thing!) and the celebrations of the last two weeks were completed last night with the wife and I celebrating our 24th wedding anniversary. As a special treat I went to practise with the boys and she retired early to bed!

Before there is an outcry from the female reader we did have a nice lunch out on Sunday, and we bought each other some choccies!

Unfortunately a new boiler, a holiday and someone`s 18th birthday party have somewhat depleted the funds, and to cap it all I had to file my first VAT return today. Apparently the taxman owes me some money - woohooooo! (methinks he will find some devious way of getting it back though!)

The Kids Are Alright!.

2005-10-23T17:37:00.000+01:00

Friday saw my youngest celebrate her 18th birthday and it was a very special occasion.

Not only did most of the family turn up, but for the first time since they parted very acrimoniously 20 years ago my mum and dad managed to be in the same room for the first time and they remained there without too much of an issue!

Result.

We had a great evening and the band played an hour set which went down well.
We even managed a pretty hot rendition of "Eloise" by The Damned in honour of said child.

I am pleased to say it reduced her to tears! - a very special moment, and we hugged each other like she was a little `un again.

Bruv, Mr.D was there with his side of the family, as was my wife`s brother with his kids, and it was at the end of the night when we were sat in the bar of the hotel that it occurred to me how special the event was to see the next generation nearly all grown up, but more importantly relaxing easily with each other and joshing about this and that! - a very, very special moment.

We have tried to remain partially sober all weekend and I am happy to say that, on our return from the pub this afternoon we now plan to have Sunday lunch and play Monopoly!

You don`t get better weekends than that!

I am so glad that blood is thicker than water, I am also glad that water is less alcoholic than lager!

The Kids are alright!!!!!!!

It`s only Rock `n` Roll....

2005-10-18T11:26:00.000+01:00

Well we did it!

The Reaction finally played their debut gig and I am happy, (as in Jack!) to say that things went as well as could be expected, if not better.

I have to say the guys all played their socks off and went up several gears in front of a live audience, so thats it we are no longer gig virgins, and now we have to expand the set and arrange more gigs for the world tour!

Reality kicked in with a bang,or thud in my case, so having got to bed at 1.30am Saturday morning, it was a particular treat to hear the alarm going off a 5.45am to call me to work!

I lasted until about 10am when the adrenalin finally seeped out of my body, and I then retired to the tranny to get a few minutes kip. Duly refreshed one hour later it was back to selling rugs!

My Daughter, our youngest will be 18 this Friday and as such Sunday was spent making arrangements for her party, which also included me having to purchase and fit a carpet in the bathroom, so that was another day of my new Rock and Roll lifestyle enjoyed to the full!

Back to the market on Monday and then practising again last night with the band, including learning a new song just for the girls big night on friday!

I am now off to orgaise the replacement of our boiler which, with impeccable timing blew up last week, (so we are freezing our nuts off here!) and then more purchasing of party banners, balloons etc!

So in answer to your question BW, sadly no, I am not too important to blog, but until the Millennium Stadium gigs start to pay off, domestic duties still have priority!

To be someone would be a bl**dy marvellous thing!

Oh!.. Big thanks to Bruv for your support and excellent photos on your site! - cheers matey, see you on Friday!

Into Tomorrow.

2005-10-13T20:51:00.000+01:00

Well tomorrow beckons and with it the exciting prospect of playing a live gig in front of people for the first time in over 25 years!

Mildly excited, slightly nervous, I still keep reminding myself that this is a privilege.

Several airings of the demo CD to people outside the band have brought very favourable comments and this is great news for my/our confidence.

Tomorrow I am taking a sort of day off and will give the kit a good clean, and with the help of the erotically named cymbal cleaner "groove juice!" I hope to be sparklingly shiny for the gig!

3 months agp we didn`t even know eachother, tomorrow we will find out the results of our hard work.

Ladies and Gentlemen I give you "The Reaction."

To be someone must be a wonderful thing....

2005-10-11T20:06:00.000+01:00

Having recorded a dozen tracks on Sunday we listened to the CD yesterday and are all agreed the promo CD is pretty tight!

So having practised for the last time before the gig on Friday we are now just itching to get the gig over with, and are looking forward, if a little nervously, to performing live for the first time.

The last 2 days have been really hard work, and although I am really tired, it made me think that a career of performing music, and sitting around a recording studio would have been a lot more pleasurable than 27 years in retail management!

Oh well, should have been more confident in my teenage years, still, at 45 I am still excited at the prospect of performing live again and fortunate to have the opportunity with a great bunch of lads who are very talented and hardworking.

Reality is such a come down though, today both the boiler and the TV broke so thats my first £2k in royalties spent!

To be someone?.....yes I think I would like that!

Right side of the tracks.

2005-10-09T21:28:00.000+01:00

So, back from hols I find my newly puschased broadband doesn`t work and it has taken me several days to sort it!

Now that its working I am happily back in the land of Blog!

Today the band spent several hours in the recording studio cutting some tracks for a promotional CD.

This is a first for me, and it was a really great experience!

As a fortysomething I will, God willing, this week play my first live gig in over 25 years on Friday and together with todays experience this promises to be a very exciting week.

Tomorrow is our last practise before the gig, and we are really loking forward to it.

I did not think this would happen again and now it all seems a bit of a dream, so I can only thank my lucky stars that this is now a reality.

Hope my nerve holds!

It's what bigger bruvvers are for...

2005-10-05T19:35:00.000+01:00

While I'm undergoung torture at the hands of BT Broadband and Norton, Big Bruv has agreed to post summat for me.

So, as we're not really kacking ourselves about our first gig...

The Reaction - World Tour debut

Bring me sunshine........

2005-09-20T19:44:00.000+01:00

Off on hols tomorrow to sunny Cyprus, so even less blogging than normal! (if that can be achieved?)

The band rehearsed again last night and this time we managed to run through the complete set which we now know is a nearly perfect pair of two 45 minute sets!

For the first time after many weeks practising I had an attack of the dreaded lactic acid in the forearms with 3 songs still to play, however I managed to work my way through the songs even though my arms felt like concrete (note to self - drink more water!)

Back soon.

another classic from ther set... Down at the Doctors. Dr. Feelgood.

The Ace Face.

2005-09-11T18:38:00.000+01:00

"Here by the sea and sand, nothing ever goes as planned" - is a lyric from Sea and Sand from my favourite all time album, Quadraphenia by The Who.

So, when our bassist Mike, called late last night to invite me to go with him to the Ace Cafe Reunion at Brighton today I decided it was time to do something spontaneous and different and experience a bit of fun at the same time.

As such we cruised into Brighton this morning on Mike`s immaculate Harley Davidson Road King and spent the day looking at some of the most amazing motorbikes and scooters.

Now the last time I had been on the back of any motorbike was when I was abot 11 years old and Mr.D used to take me to junior school on his Puch 175, ( a rare breed, but beautifully marked!) and so, when all the other kids were walking, cycling or catching the school bus to school yours truly arrived like a mini Fonzie, which really pi**ed off all of my mates, but gave me great cred with the ladies!

So today when Mike arrived, although I didn`t say it I am sure he could see my eyes pleading with him to be gentle with me!

The main reason why I have not been on a bike in all that time is because I lost a few friends in their teens through accidents, and this scared me off them I suppose. It wasn`t that I didn`t trust myself, but more the case that there are so many other lunatics out there on the road, and as we all know, when you are hit on a bike its your bodywork that gets dented!

However that still doesn`t stop me appreciating a beautiful machine and there were so many there today. Also today was the first time I had been on a Harley, and I have to say, it was gorgeous.

So along with some strange people that were there today I thought this was a bit odd, but given my reservetions about motorbikes I am sure they provide a necessary service. They are, should you require them "The final resting place for Temporary Citizens."

For, as their strapline says, "A dignified final ride."

So for another song from the set, it has to be from The Who - "The Kids are Alright"

We are the Mods, we are the Mods, we are, we are, we are the Mods!

Annual Reading Opportunity.

2005-09-09T20:59:00.000+01:00

The only time I really get to read a book is on holiday, so I would welcome any suggestions as to what I should take on hols.

Usually I like things that have a good story, have a decent amount of humour, feature music,footie or sports of some description, or an autobiog, again normally sports or music based.

Failing any inspiration it will Puckoon again!

The band met last night to sort out the running order for the first gig, so we are getting organised as well as sounding pretty good at this stage.

Set opener to be "Blow Up" by The In Crowd, a 60`s number, not that well known, but it was the title track to the film of the same title based on the lifestyle of David Bailey. (So one for all you Lensbians.)

Cyprise! Cyprise!

2005-09-06T20:37:00.000+01:00

Well thats it, decision made, the wife and I are off to Cyprus for a week of relaxation! -thank the Lordy!

We`ve never been there before, so anyone with any tips, please let me know. (Oh, by the way its not Ayia Napa.)

The band practised last night and we worked really hard at some stuff we hadn`t been through before, and I have to say it sounded pretty OK!

So after a day at work and 3 hours drumming I did the sensible thing and came home straight to ....my sons birthday celebrations! - so at 2.35 a.m. today I finally went to bed!

For the first time since I can remember I didn`t get out of bed until after Midday. Well I thought this would be good practice for the holiday!(However that didn`t stop some customers phoning me at 9 a.m. to order rugs!)

Off now to check out some Cypriot info.

Next song from the set:- (Its an oldie, and good fun for everyone bar me as its hard work emulating the Moon at his best!)

"Happy Jack" - The Who.

Still got it.

2005-09-02T20:12:00.000+01:00

Sorry for the temporary lack of blogging but I have been trying for the last 3 days to work out the instructions BW sent me.

I promise, I will get around to learning this stuff but when you get out of bed at 6a.m. and don`t get home to eat until some godforsaken hour, by which time the family have filled your diary for the next 3 days and emptied your wallet in the process, then you start, if start is the right place to begin, to envy those people that are either time rich and cash poor or vice-versa!

Is there ever a time in the future that someone will guarantee me that I will have a bit of either? - I know, not so long as the kids are at home!

So stuff it, the wife and I are going on holiday.

Don`t know where, don`t care, we just need to get away from everything and sleep for 7 days, either in bed, on the beach, by the pool, or on a clothes-line!

Footie was great last night! - we won our league game and in a "friendly" second game we won 5-4 and I scored 4 goals!!

I ache a lot today, astroturf is the most unforgiving surface, and once again for the wrong reasons my groins are agony and I have burns on my knees!

This result, unremarkable as it may seem, is from a five man team in which four of us are 45 years old or older,and the combined age of the team last night was well over 200 years old! and we play against much younger, fitter guys, so we should get hammered!

So the lesson I have learned from this is that like most aspects of modern day life, my generation is physically and mentally tougher than the present one.

Without being patronising or pleading poverty we had less to entertain ourselves with in our junior years, so a football was your best friend, and as such we played with it all day long. As a consequence, at this time in our lives, when we should all be overweight, bald and contemplating which Parker-Knoll recliner we are going to buy next, we are instead reasonably healthy, reasonably fit and technically still able to play the ar*e off kids half our age!

And they hate losing to us, and when they shake your hand at the end of the game you can see in their eyes that they are thinking, how come these old gits just mullered us?

Love it!!!

There is no point in getting older unless you get wiser!

So having spent a not inconsiderable amount of money today on a computer for my sons 20th birhday so that he can take it to Uni to help him with his studies, (or more likely burn CD`s and DVD`s!)should I have bought him a new football and replica kit and dispatched him to the park at 8am to play with his friends?

Now, where`s the suntan oil?

Goal!!!.......

2005-08-30T11:20:00.000+01:00

Having been set a deadline to submit 3 posts I calculate that the average goal is made up of two uprights and one crossbar ... as such thats 3 posts!

My part of the deal over I am off to complete a stockcheck for the benefit of the IR - deep joy on my only day off this week.

So spell cancelled? I am now free to blog at my will.

Song title No 2 from the set ..."Non Stop Dancing" -The Jam.

If someone would like to set up a podcast you could play these songs to hear how great they are.

The opening gig as mentioned in a previous post will be at The Hampshire Rose public house, Widley, near Portsmouth.

Our singer has been frantically practising saying "Thank you Widley, you`ve been great!" - doesn`t sound as inpressive as Wembley but it made us chuckle!

Imitation is.........

2005-08-28T19:39:00.000+01:00

Apparantly the saying says something banal like the lowest form of flattery.

Personally I`d rather be flattered than battered.

Talking of batter, I`m hungry and I haven`t had a proper meal for over 36 hours, so I am waiting for a chicken bhuna, keema naan and onion bhajis to arrive.

I`d prefer to be fattered than battered, but given that I am geting thinner by the day then that is not likely.

Hope you are enjoying the Bank Hols - I`ve been working today and will be again tomorrow - up early to rob the public once again, so thats all folks!

( one down two to go, God I hate deadlines, particularly when the threat of a spell is included!)

Setlist being discussed tomorrow with the band... as an appetiser the first title of one of our songs of the set will be.... "Tin Soldier" - by The Small Faces .... more to follow.......

Simulpost

2005-08-25T08:52:00.000+01:00

World Tour Date

For every action ... there is The Reaction

I was last in action behind the drums, almost thirty years ago.

Our band was called The Fence and one of the lyrics from our self-penned songs gave rise to my Blogtitle and the band's name figures in the tagline.

And now, I'm about to do it again.

Wonder if there's enough fuel in the broomstick to get there?

God, I hope the groupies are all fit...

Trader Returns

2005-08-24T11:12:00.000+01:00

"Clunk" sounded the Tranny`s door closure and with it the end of the Traders tour of South East England.

Having discovered new plains far and wide, (in the case of Essex very wide,)and spent a happy couple of months robbing new found punters, the Trader enters the family home, hangs up his money belt and thinks.... "Its about time I contacted those nice people in Blogland once again!"

So with the press of a button and a click of a mouse here I am back with you and on opening up the site it was nice to see some of you have been in contact. ( Thanks for the offer of a spell being cast upon me Witchy but I have enough troubles without you adding to them!) - So not wishing to incur the wrath of a Witchy scorned I will bring you up to date with life.

By the way BW I know North Weald is nowhere near Billericay but it is in Essex and I don`t recall the Blockheads starting a song "I`m from North Weald, in case you couldn`t tell"

The very good news is that my friend who I have been helping whilst he recovers from his cancer scare, is making good progress and returned to work this weekend.As such I have been helping him so that he could break himself in gently and am pleased to reort that he was able to perform his duties to the required standard.( This means he robbed them blind!)

The wife has passed her riding instructor exams and is now busy clocking up teaching hours so that she is fully qualified and at the same time we have acquired another horse! - so we are now in competition to have as many four legged modes of transport as we have four tyred ones!

The Son is still home from Uni having scraped through his first year exams. He is now qualified in "Drinking yourself stupid" and "Sh*gging yourself silly" and hopes to qualify in "Banrupting your parents." - oh well only another 2 years of debauchery to be jealous of.

The Daughter completed the first year of her course in Nursing and passed her exams, so now has another year before deciding what to do, but Uni keeps cropping up in conversation ( oh no!)

She, along with her boyfriend are also learning to drive and has finally got around to booking her theory, so hopefully in the not too distant future my part time job as her taxi driver will cease.

The amount of time for recreational activities has been pretty limited but I am happy to inform you that the band is starting to come together really well.We are busy rehearsing Mod inspired songs from The Jam, Weller, Who, Kinks, Small Faces, Feelgoods, Stones, Beatles and others in the aim of putting a 2 hour set together.

The first gig is booked for 14/10/05 which coincidentially is the wifes birthday, so not only will she get a night out this year but she can also "roadie" for me! (well she has always wanted one of those "Red Letter Day" experience presents and lugging my drums around is far more exciting than white water rafting!)

....Waits for the sound of a choking witch........

The bassist has a 16 year old daughter who does the mixing and is really good, and in a couple of weeks has substantially improved our sound, and the singers pregnant girlfriend has taken up the mantle of our manager, so they are busy bossing us around! - wisely we are lulling them into a false sense of authority so they are on hand for really important things like getting the drinks in!

.... Somewhere in the distance a blue witch turns purple!

Seriously they have been a great help and hopefully within the next month we will have a pretty tight set.

I know Footie is a topic close to your hearts and I am sure you have been waiting for the start of the new season with baited breath!

Sadly it seems Pompey are still on their holidays and with one point from 3 games I wish I shared your feelings and that the season hadn`t started yet!

The 5-a-side team have also been erratic with many changes in personnel over the summer, but we managed to avoid relegation and last week won a game with a pretty scratch team. So hopefully with the return of some of our better players things will improve.

I hope you are all well and that this post is the start of some more regular communication.

More importantly I hope this keeps that spell at bay!

Bllcks

2005-08-23T15:26:00.000+01:00

I just spent the best part of an hour on my post only to lose it into the ether when I published it!

I`m now off to unload a van full of rugs - more later If I have the patience.

Too much slog to blog!

2005-06-30T19:01:00.000+01:00

I did warn you!

Since taking over my friends pitches whilst he is in hospital, life has been even more hectic - if that was possible!

Hence the unofficial sabbatical, (unlike BW) - and as my only other "regular" has been off in "Bigblogger" (whatever that is,) I guess Mr.D is the only one left reading this, so this is for you Bruv.

The new working routine is now as follows:-

Starting with Saturday.

Up at 3.30 am, drive (from Portsmouth) to Essex, all day at the market, return nome for 7pm, re load Tranny, ( i now have two, one being on hire as my pitches are being run by "my boys")- return home at 8pm, shower, shave, eat in bed at 9pm.

Sunday: - up at 4.30 am, drive to Blackbushe (near Camberley) all day at market, return home 5pm, reload van, home at 6pm, shower etc in bed for 10pm.

Monday:- up at 5.45am all day at local market, home for 5pm, shower etc, band practice, arrive home 11pm (ish)

Tuesday:- Day Off!!! - up at 8am, raise order and send to supplier, catch up on everything, take delivery of approx 150 rugs at 5pm, load 2 vans and storeroom, get home about 7.30pm etc etc - bed for 10pm.

Wednesday: - up at 5am - drive to Dorchester market which is quickly becoming a complete waste of time, get home about 5pm, reload van, home for 6pm,

Thursday:- Day off!! - unofficial this one as the "boys" have volunteered to do this market on their own, so I get to do the garden, ironing, cleaning, DIY, pay bills etc.Also play footie in the evenings.

Friday: - Day off!! - reload van and if lucky (not likely,) relax!

And then it starts all over again.

So thats why I have been absent for the last 2 weeks.

In that time some points of note.

Mrs.Silentpee has passed her riding instructor exams and is now partly qualified to teach horse riding etc - great relief all around!

No.1 daughter has passed her maths GCSE retake and has been doing work experience with autistic children.

No.1 son is home from Uni and working with me at the market.

Fathers day came and went quickly but I did finally get a new copy of the re-released "Tommy" dvd, although I haven`t had time to watch it yet.

The band has a new bassist who seems really good, so we are now getting together on a fortnightly basis, so hopefully this time we will get it off the ground!

We have been selecting some new songs to try out including some Dr.Feelgood numbers and some alternative Jam songs, including "In the Crowd" which reminded me of the fantastic lyric written by a young Weller "sometimes I think that its a plot, an equilibrium melting pot the government sponsers underhand" - listen to the track and fail to be impressed!

I have been challenged by Mr.D to do this (fill in the gaps please Ed!) - so will have a go tomorrow as I am now off to play footie at 9.20pm.

Looking forward to a lie in tomorrow so long as some credit card company doesn`t wake me up at 8.30am as they have done on the last two days off!!!!!!!

Is That It? - I don`t think so!

2005-06-15T11:42:00.000+01:00

Is That It? was the title of Bob Geldof`s autobography which I remember reading some time ago, and given what has happened since in his private life and what continues to be happening to him in respect of world events, it has got to be the most ironic title for a book ever written.

Having been a fan of the Boomtown Rats since the early days and seen them live, it is no surprise to see Bob still rattling cages.

You could not fail to be impressed by the man when he first did what he did for Africa in the 80`s and again now, 20 years later he is still changing the world with his energy, intelligence, words and actions.

At the time of the first live aid gig in 1985 my wife was pregnant with our first child and we watched the whole thing moved to tears on regular occasions by the sight of those poor people sharing the same planet as us and yet they might as well have been a million light years away.

At one of my markets this week an elderly woman, who informed me that she had been married for 60 years, nearly broke down in tears telling me how she felt about the problem, and said she curiously found herself standing in Marks and Spencer considering the issue as to how unfair it was that we have so much and others have so little.

I wondered whether she would be considering this at all if it wasn`t for the likes of Geldof.

I saw him on Jonathon Ross on Friday and his lucidity over the third world debt issue was enough to bring a lump to your throat. - So why does it take people like him to make these things happen when we democratically elect people to do this as their jobs?

And if the news that the politicians are finally considering the matter seiously wasn`t good enough the Live8 gigs have shaken "The Floyd" to their senses and brought about the reunion of one of the best bands the world has ever seen, great stuff Bob!

Listening to the news of this reunion on my way home on Sunday I promptly phoned Mr.D who has been a lifelong fan, to tell him the good news. Expecting a "hurrah" from bruv I was greeted with "sh*t!" - he was gutted that he wouldn`t get to see the gig. It was enough to put him off assembling wardrobes for the afternoon!

It is still one of my greatest memories that at the tender age of 16, Mr.D and Mrs.D took me to see Floyd live at Knebworth.

Sat in this huge field with thousands of other people, the light beginning to fail as dusk approached,the keyboard of Rick Wright gently built announcing the first few bars of "Shine on you crazy diamond" - the hairs still stand up on the back of my neck whenever I hear it! - electric moment.

Governments crack and systems fall `cause unity is powerful. (Weller.)

Rock n Roll!!

Get your kit off (worksafe)

2005-06-06T19:08:00.000+01:00

Here, Kitty Kitty

Life through a different lens.

2005-06-05T19:49:00.000+01:00

Back in the land of Blogworld the thought occurred to me that in my new life I am seeing the world in a different way.

Take weather for instance, normally I am not one of those people pre-occupied by it, nor indeed feel compelled to comment on it at every opportunity, its "weather" and its there every day, no matter what form it takes. However when your day is determined by it, and your living, earnings etc dictated by it then you suddenly become infatuated by the John Kettlys` of this world.

So what the hell is going on with the weather in this God forsaken Country?

It is well into the first week of June, where we should be seeing longer daylight hours and experiencing warmer temperatures but instead it is more like October!

Beats me! - maybe its a Government conspiracy, to make everyone go abroad for the Summer thus freeing up the road system which will mean they can postpone any investment in Public transport for at least another 3 months.

So what about Petrol/Diesel?

Having had the benefit of a company car for most of my life I never bothered much about the price, just fill up and put it on the company account and travel to the next destination.

So now, being profit conscious I look at the price per litre on a daily basis, and this week the price went down from approx 89p to 85p! - hurrah - we`ve paid for Iraq I thought, then today it went back up to 87p! - what is that all about? - the next thing you know is that interest rates will go down only to be up to 15% because the Dutch and the French scuppered the Euro and we are being penalised for not voting how they wanted us to!

But on a more serious note the friend that helped me get started on the markets came to see me this week to tell me that he has to go into hospital to have a cyst removed and as such has asked me to run his pitches for the next 6 - 12 weeks.

This arrangement is financially beneficial to us both, but made me realise that although money is still an overriding factor in most peoples lives, your health is still far more important. So with that in mind I will endeavour to give up the ciggies in the not too distant.

So if you are reading this and are anywhere near North Weald market near Stanstead on a Saturday, or Blackbushe, near Camberley on a Sunday, from the 18th June - then look out for a rug stall with a small grey haired ex- Punk plying his trade.

Finally having listened continuously to the radio telling me that Coldplay, (or as I like to call them "Cantplay",) are the biggest band in the World, I can only think that there is a God after all by making the Crazy Frog beat them to No.1

If they are the best the world can produce then what does that say about artists like Weller, Costello, U2, etc etc! - hype and the music indutry has a lot to answer for!

Simple hours and simple jobs and always wanting for the change.

I must have been......

2005-05-29T20:27:00.000+01:00

A hamster in a former life - if not how do you explain my expertise on this wheel?

Apologies for the absence - I am bored with telling you how busy I am, so if I go AWOL for a couple of days/weeks you know why and `nuff said!

Hope exams are going well Clair, - my son has just finished his first year and with exams over has returned (temporarily,) to the family home to bring tidings of joy, and several bags of washing.

Daughter goes to Spain on holiday next week, taking boyfriend with her, and he helps me at the market so I will be even busier on my Jack Jones.

Wife busy doing her "horsey" stuff.

Bruv - 8am start was on my one "day off" I get a week, as I recall in the Corporate world a weekend is the usual statutory 2 days off, both together, on a regular basis, for idle g*its to assemble wardrobes or annoy market traders.

Yesterday saw the weirdest weather, sun, rain, high winds, - and all under the forecast of "Sunshine and showers" - which covers everyones backside!

It was so windy that I thought at one stage the stall was going to appear on the Gatwick radar! - not very funny when you are holding the thing down, praying that your insurance is up to date.

Still - another Bank Holiday tomorrow! (oh, you`ll probably be off on that too Bruv!,) so I`m off to bed so that I am fit and ready for another spell on the wheel.

Pass the nuts someone.

Standards rule OK

2005-05-24T20:43:00.000+01:00

As the latest recipient of the MBWL award I now feel under pressure to perform some witty piece to keep you all enthralled - all, as far as I can tell being three of you!

Tough! - I am too kn*ckered to even care if there is footie or soaps on tonight to have an argument, in fact I have just got home having been running around since 8am and have just finished unloading a van of rugs. The house is empty, the tv isn`t even on and I haven`t eaten a decent meal for over 24 hours, so if you want wit, humour and pathos, tonight is not the night.

Being a "Saturday`s child" I thought the saying was "works hard for a living" - which I could live with, although someone disputed this with me this week, so clarification from anyone please! - as I feel tonight I think it should be changed to "gets a good kicking" - which is how I feel!

Anyway, last night saw the trial of a new singer and bassist for the band, and all things considered it went quite well.

Both parties were keen and professional in their approach, and whilst it is difficult to guage the outcome of such matters on one showing, I think there is potential.

Highlight of the evening was an impromptu rendition of "In the crowd" by The Jam and this bodes well for the next session.

For clarification I do live near Portsmouth, I am not sexist, I love football and music in equal measures ( they are the two constants in my life - a question worth asking of yourselves, ) and am enjoying this diversion to the everyday cr*p we all have to put up with, and when I have
a little more time I will develop the site etc.

By the way the garden still looks like the Panzer division paid it a visit.

Bush and Gates destroyed by pensioner!!!!!!

2005-05-22T21:48:00.000+01:00

Unfortunately, - not the downfall of the two most powerful and wealthy men in the world, but the fact that some dozy bluerinse decided that the quickest route home after Sunday lunch was through my garden!

So I am now minus a gate for the postman to walk through, and two Laburnum bushes are doing their best dying swan impression on my front lawn.

There ought to be a driving test for people over the age of 60 as I am sure that at that age, recklesness levels, only previously demonstrated by 15 year old`s on crack, suddenly rise to the surface again. And another thing - anyone driving whilst wearing a flat cap should be automatically banned, in fact abolish breath tests and introduce a flat cap test, this would reduce accidents, bring down insurance premiums and raise the average driving speed by 10 mph legally.

As previously commented on Bruv`s blog, Aprosexic, we now have two funeral directors on our little Island. Bring in compulsory euthanasia at 65 and I will stop selling rugs and set up my own chain of funeral directors. This would legally increase the driving time for millions and do away with that awful fashion statement as quickly as my garden was destroyed!

Rant over - back to important matters.

On top of that good news the toilet broke today, so after a day grafting I spent the last 2 hours repairing the loo! - deep joy, how I love being an adult, there are so many pleasures to enjoy, but this is not one of them.

I hate plumbing!

Rant over, - back to important matters.

Tomorrow sees the reformation of the band, with a vocalist and bassist lined up for their trial.

We have adverised for their services on the internet and received immediate responses, so hopefully tomorrow will be a musical extravaganza.

We don`t know whether we will persist with the previous band name "The Standards" - so have adverised under the name of "The Reaction" which has references to "The Jam" but is also an anagram of the sixties band "The Creation"

So to make a good impression I spent yesterday, (the market was washed out and it was a good excuse to watch the FA Cup Final,) cleaning my cymbals, so they are now all shiny and bright, and sound great!

Gig dates soon to be released, (hopefully!)

Down At the Doctors.

2005-05-18T20:07:00.000+01:00

No, - its not a case of Manflu, the need for more Viagra or a case of fallen arches, but the purchase of a "singles" collection by Dr. Feelgood that inspires this blog.

Without wishing to usurp Mr.D`s lyric of the day how about this for some gritty poetry (they would probably call it "rap" today.)

" Roxette, I gotta go away,
and leave you for a couple of days,
Roxette,
I don`t want no more of your tricks,

I`m gonna get some concrete mix and fill your back door up with bricks,
and you`d better be there waiting when I get my business fixed."

Thank you Canvey Island!

I went on my only all boys holiday, aged 18, and we drove through France, in a Beetle, without any money listening to only 2 cassette tapes, one by Police and the other by the Feelgoods.

It was a crap holiday but their album got us through it.

I was fortunate enough to see them in the late Seventies complete with Wilko Johnson and the now sadly departed Lee Brilleaux and they rocked! - a great gig.

A couple of years ago I saw the remnants of the band, (or should that be flotsam and jetson,) at a real ale gig and they were still excellent.

Timeless rock `n` roll, performed with great energy and feeling, and designed, as it says on the tin, to make you "Feel Good!"

Now with the possible re-formation of my band, this may be an opportunity to slip in a couple of their numbers into the set.

You couldn`t fail by opening with "She does it right" and ending on "Milk and Alcahol"

Anyone know a good harmonica player?

Sha na na na na na na nah!

2005-05-15T20:59:00.000+01:00

To the tune of "Amarillo"

Sha na na na na na na nah - and the Scum are going down!

I know Footie drew a blank last time I raised it, but this is my blog so I will write again on this historic day. ( Ed - do what you must!)

Today was the last day of the season and Southampton, ( Scummers,) were relegated with the result that Judas ( Harry Redknapp,) has resigned! - the worst days work he ever did was agreeing to join them and now God has repaid him with interest.

As my Dad would say " He who laughs last , laughs the loudest!"

I know Football is not everyone`s pet love but it is mine and it is multi - faceted in its character.

Forget the rubbish in the papers - the real fun is with the fans, and today saw Pompey playing West Brom, who were also threatened with relegation, and as such we wanted our team to lose so that Southampton went down.

This may not seem a big thing - but to actively support another team to beat yours takes a wicked sense of perversion, - but that is what we did, with the result that our fans cheered for the opposition and even bought their shirts from their clubhouse to wear! - as one "Baggy" commented - "that is above and beyond the call of duty!"

Thats Pompey fans for you!

For a greater insight into this world I recommend a book / DVD called " The Football Factory" - it is not just about football violence as portrayed in the media - it is a good piece on of social comment and examines Mans role in society today. Its also a laugh!

Football fans are many things but they are funny, ironic, sarcastic, shrewd, partisan, passionate, political and intelligent - regargless of how the media portray them, and to be involved in a live game is to still feel like you are alive.

As Weller said " When you`re in a crowd you see things as they really are, the smell of fear and hate, generated by all around."

To cheer myself up as I stood in the p*ssing rain at the market this week I bought a copy of "RUdE Boy" - the movie, which is a documentary film of the Clash on tour in 1977/8.

I have never seen this before but noticed on the sleeve that it features footage of the band headlining the " Rock Against Racism" gig in Victoria Park in 1978. I am proud to say that I went on that march and saw the band play that gig - so I am really looking forward to re-living a piece of my teenage rebellion.

It also made me realise that although I am aware that racism still exists, how much less of an issue it seems to be these days. Having worked in areas with high levels of Black and Asian communities, the integration over the last 20 years has been quite remarkable (thank God,) and as such events like this have not been necessary to express solidarity.

So why is it that I can march to London to support people that are so different to me - whilst at the same time wish the worst luck on people who live in the same community as me , but support a different team?

Its a funny old game!

Tommy can you see me? - my claim to fame!

2005-05-12T20:38:00.000+01:00

On the 22- May - 1974, nearly 31 years ago! - The Who played a gig at Portsmouth Guildhall as a "thank you" to the people of Portsmouth for allowing them to film the Ken Russsel film "Tommy" in the city.

My Bruv, Mr.D was fortunate enough to see the gig, and I remember him telling me he was sat underneath the bass stacks of John Entwistle. As a consequence his ribcage didn`t stop vibrating for 48 hours! - lucky g*t!

Being only 15 I didn`t get to see the gig and wasn`t street wise enough top know about such things as touts - so I didn`t see my heroes in my home town!

However I did meet some of them (see previous post "Empty Vessels?,") - and I also spent two days filming as an extra, although, unfortunately I was left on the cutting room floor.

There are two scenes in the film at which, not in which, I was present, - the first being the marriage of Ann Margaret ( Tommy`s mother) to Oliver Reed (his Step Father,) which took place at Warblington Church, Emsworth, (not far from where I now live.)

The second was supposed to be Tommy hang gliding off of Warblington castle, which from memory is at the end of the film. All i can remember was that we had to all wear blue anoraks and stand beneath this event as some sad disciples!

The film when it finally came out was very weird, (as can be expected of Mr. Russel,) and as such I was pretty disappointed with it, as were many other of my friends who were Who fans.

That said it was a memorable experience to witness this event and to see the band members at close quarters.

As previously blogged the most memorable day was the filming at the disused Marine barracks Church where I met Pete Townshend and sat talking to him, strumming his guitar and generally passing the time of day with the great man.

The day was as weird as the film in as much as I remember there being a great deal of people suffering from "Thalidomide" being used in the film, many of them severe cases, so much so that they were transported in old prams, and I recall Eric Clapton, very out of it, telling them all how much he loved them, which I am sure they apprectated, but at 15 it still felt patronising to me!

When they finally shot the Townshend/Clapton crossed guitar scene, with the panoramic picture of Marilyn Monroe behind the altar, Moonie was very drunk sand was mimicking their "crossed swords" movements by doing likewise with a bottle of Vodka to try and put them off!

Having recently read Keith Moon`s biography, " Dear Boy," ( Clair I will do the book thing soon and will include this in it, ) I discovered that they stayed at a hotel during the filming on Hayling Island, not far from where I now live, and according to legend, Moonie and Oliver Reed swam back to the hotel from Portsmouth after a night on the lash! - believe that if you will!

So although I recall vividly the events, I was a little disappointed with the outcome. The DVD was relaunched last year, and despite putting it on Xmas and birthday request list, I still do not posess it and as such the kids still don`t understand what I am talking about when the topic occasionally comes to the fore - so it looks as if I am going to have to treat myself to it!

That said the events of the filming did leave a lasting impression on me - but even more so on Portsmouth ........ they managed to burn the bl**dy pier down in the process!!!! - so me and my mates were no longer able to be "Pinball Wizards"

Empty Vessels......?

2005-05-08T20:32:00.000+01:00

Having raised the topic of "drummahs" I thought I would run this one past you as "footie" drew a blank!

At the tender age of about ten Mr.D, my bruv borrowed a drum kit from a bloke across the road and set it up in our parents bedroom. I can still remember it was a red sparkly kit, old and battered. I fell in love for the first time!

Having a bruv seven years older than yourself has its advantages and disadvantages.

The biggest disadvantage was that it wasn`t until I was about 16 that we realised we were the best of friends - because the age difference didn`t align unil then.

The biggest advantage was that musically he introduced me to bands that were way above my age/peers so instead of being into bands like Status Quo, I was listening to Cream!

As such my interest in music (which was already quite well developed due to the sixties and having the benefit of the older sibling,) suddendly went into warp factor 3.

I could list endlessly the great amount of "drummahs" I like but have decided to limit it to 5 - and I will age myself by doing this.

In decending order but with no disrespect:-

Bonzo Bonham - Led Zeppelin - simply the best bass drum you will ever hear.
Carl Palmer - Emerson Lake & Palmer - technically and creatively unsurpassed - so fast, so tight
Topper Headon - Clash - maybe not the best drummah in the world, but the drummah of the best live band I ever saw.
Ginger Baker - Cream - technically superb, unbelievable coordination and so much soul. He was the first beatmeister I ever proprley listened to and was fortunate to see him perform live (when overly indulgent drum solos were cool!)

And the King!

Moonie!

God, if I can come back to this world at a later stage please give me this talent.

I conviced my poor parents that this was a serious hobby and as such they bought me a battered old kit! - I can still remember dragging my dad out into the countryside on a Friday night (which meant he sacraficed a few beers with his mates,) to buy this thing. It was awful - but I loved it.

I therefore locked myself away for the next four years and listened to Moonie and taught myself how to play. Quadrophenia is the only album to learn the drums to, and it still gives me a buzz now!

I "met" the man only once, when the Who made "Tommy" the film in the mid Seventies. ( I will tell more on another blog entitled "my claim to fame")

Many scenes were recorded in and around Portsmouth and one of the scenes, where Pete Townshend and Eric Clapton, cross guitars, admitting disabled people onto an altar which has a panoramic picture of Marilyn Monroe behind it, was shot 50 yards from our house in the disused Marine barracks church.

I bunked off school and spent the day watching the Who, Clapton etc filming. I sat on a church pugh talking to Townshend, who was brilliant, and he let me strum his guitar.

But Moonie and Clapton were "out of it" - and to a 15 year old he was too scary to approach - so I missed my chance to speak to my idol!

It doesn`t matter. He inspired me so much through his playing and that was enough.

I believe no-one has or ever will better his playing, - so much energy, so much emotion, so much talent!

Thanks Bruv for borrowing that kit!

Standards

2005-05-04T21:34:00.000+01:00

Duly chastised the tired blogger finally gets 5 mins to open up his PC to find out he has 78 unread messages two of which are b*ll*ckings for not putting finger to keyboard for a few days!

Having just worked 15 days without a day off I apologise!

I am not seeking sympathy and as a lapsed Catholic I still don`t like the smell of burning martyr, but i did warn you this would be erratic!

As well as work I have been returning No.1 son to Uni, and buying No.1 daughter an early 18th birthday present in the shape of a car - and still found time to deal with the rubbish that comes through the letterbox courtesy of her majesty`s postal system.

All this with an aching head!

Bank Holiday Monday, 7.15 am, setting up the stall for a busy day, leans forward to get something out of a box, daughter jumps into the tranny, half a ton of steel shoots out of the van onto my head, big dent in skull, stars in the eyes and claret all over my bonce! - lovely!

Customers say the funniest things:- big bloke in mecanics overalls walks up to the rugs, gently fondles one of my finest Greek Flokati lambswool rugs and announces " these used to be great to shag on!"

On receiving my business card regarding the possible order of a rug a woman says to me "what shall I say if your wife answers?"

"tell her your my fancy woman and can I come out to play" - I say

to which she replies " If I say that you`ll end up looking like a panda!"

Fair point!

So whats the title Standards all about I hear you say.

Well two years ago when I lost my job for the first time I bought myself a drum kit as I hadn`t poseseed one since my first born came into the world, (I had to sell it to buy him a cot! - what a sacrafice!)

So approaching one of several middle aged crisises (is that how you spell it?,) I decided it was now or never.

I answered an advert for a drummer and met a really great guy who is a superb guitarist. We formed a band but unfortunately it all went pear shaped before we could even play a gig.

So last night we finally met again and decided to give it another try - so we are actively looking for a bass player and vocals to form "The Standards" - which for those of you unfamiliar with the Punk / New Wave revolution was a Jam track.

When I get to work this `pooter properly I will post photies of my beloved kit and bore you with my fave bands, "drummahs" etc.

I am now going to sit down, have a beer and see if the wife can remember who I am.

Forgiven?

Judas Isc"harry"iot gets his reward!

2005-04-24T19:59:00.000+01:00

I know that football is not everyone`s favourite subject and I would be the first to agree that there is a lot of rubbish surrounding the game these days but today was a very important day if you were a Pompey fan, because we played our arch local rivals Southampton and thrashed them 4 - 1!

The game was made even more tasty because it saw the return of our former Manager Harry Redknapp who left us saying that he would never go "down the road" - to then two weeks later take up residency at their ground as their Manager.

To make things even more interesting, a win by Pompey would almost certainly mean that Southampton ( or "Scummers" as they are politely known in this part of Hampshire,) would face the certainty of relegation.

As such Portsmouth today was a City buzzing, and the result means a big payback to Harry and his cronies for what has gone on this season.

I am first and foremost a "footie" fan, but I am also a big Pompey fan - so I am delighted at the result but in an area that is close to its rivals you cannot help but have friends/colleagues/acquaintainces that are from the opposition.

As such the banter, joshing, and baiting is part of the fun, and if the "Scummers" do go down we won`t have that next season. So it is a sweet and sour moment for many Pompey fans because we want them to go down, (you always want the worst things to happen to your enemies don`t you?,) but at the same time this will also spoil the chance for some healthy verbals.

So tomorrow when I turn up at a market on the border of the two cities I will have the pleasure of taking a crisp £10 note off the trader next to me who is a "Scummer" and spending the whole day ripping it out of him and singing banal footie tunes to him to wind him up!

He normally turns up much later than me to "set-up" so on the way home I came across the idea of spelling the result out ( 4 - 1) on his pitch in large rugs!

I know this will all sound very small minded to many people but I and many like me live for days like today!

Play Up Pompey!

(By the way if anyone is looking for any social morality as to why we "hate" the "Scummers" its because they crossed our picket lines at the Dockyard when we were on strike.)

Apologies to BW and Merialc for not replying to messages left but I am still getting the hang of this and also ( I know i am boring you with this!) - really busy at the mo!

So - yes BW - someone is (hopefully) in the process of putting a website together for me, and Clare - I will do the book thing when I get a minute - but the only thing I am currently reading is the insides of my eyelids!

BW - I kmow nothing about flowers/plants - but the pics look really nice! - i did a deal with the flower/plant lady next to me on Friday - one shaggy wool rug for four hanging baskets! - I like this new age bartering - it may be the new Barclaycard!

Portsmouth `til I Die!

Stop the world!

2005-04-20T13:17:00.000+01:00

Sorry for the pause - but I did warn you I was somewhat busy! - nice to be missed though!

Did I beat the deadline Mr.D? - I thought being my own boss would mean I set the deadlines and now I have to fit this blogging lark in as well as everything else. I promise to try harder - can the average day be extended by a couple of hours though?

I`ve been amused by some of the customers at the markets, it seems everyone buys a rug for the following reasons:- a) they can`t afford a carpet, b) to protect what they have as a carpet from kids, animals, bikes etc or c) just decorated.

Animal lovers are the best - you get the entire family history, details on pets etc and how old they are (the pets not the owners that is!)

So having listened to some woman for ages going on about her dogs (cue mouthful of cobwebs,) she then proceeded to tell me that she bought a cat from the animal refuge - but it only had 3 legs! - So the called it..... wait for it

..... its worth waiting for

....honestly!

TRIPOD!

Made me laugh anyway!

My daughters teenage boyfriend is helping me on the stall and was selling a shagpile wool rug to an attractive, middle aged woman and used his sales pitch by saying " take your shoes off and walk on it - you`ll see how comfortable it is"

To which the woman replied - " no I want it for laying on!"

His face was a picture and certainly gave the traders a giggle!

(apparantly it was for doing her exercises on!)

Must sign off - stock to unload, daughter to taxi around and - oh yes off to see Pompey v Liverpool tonight!

Thank you whoever you are that stopped the world for a few minutes.

Blue is the colour!

2005-04-13T18:08:00.000+01:00

Is it me or are the Tories trying really hard?

I know I live in a Conservative dominated area but every time I turn on the radio / TV etc there is Michael (something of the night) Howard banging on about something. (cue Mouthful of cobwebs!)

Also at two markets they were the only party canvassing the punters and the only literature so far to come through my door has been from them!

Now either Tony and the gang are getting complacent or (and maybe both,) the Tories have finally found a sense of purpose.

Having not voted (seriously,) for a couple of times I must admit this time it looks as though it might at least be interesting. Tony may have won the war but has he lost the battle?

The colour Blue is therefore in its ascendancy!

Can this be a coincidence? - Tories on the "up," Pompey win a game, Chelsea through to the next round of the Champions League (not that I have any affinity with Chelsea you know!) my new 5-a-side team plays in Blue and we have not lost in 10 games, new immobiliser in the Tranny has Blue flashing light, ( Blue Witch Blue to be precise,) Blue Witch comments on my blog, and all this coincides with the Blue Police box belonging to a certain Dr. Who returning to our screens.

Anyone else "feeling Blue" ?

Spooky or wot?

Haven`t a clue wot I`m doing!

2005-04-11T19:22:00.000+01:00

I guess from your comments that i have made a b*lls up?!

Sorry - Clair is sort of right I am addled from time travelling - although nothing as exotic as a time machine - merely a Ford Tranny.

I have however had an immobiliser alarm fitted that flashes in electric blue and in the dark it does resemble a tardis.

Been at the market again today - some of the punters resemble Daleks, Billie Piper didn`t turn up for work so she`s sacked and I`m B*ggered if I am wearing that bl**dy silly scarf when its so hot!

Never had any ambition to be a Doctor - my hands are always too cold anyway!

Final "carpet" joke for the ladies........

What do men and carpets have in common?..........

If you lay them right the first time you can walk all over them for years!

Did you know?

2005-04-10T16:12:00.000+01:00

That there are two 4.30`s within 24 hours - one called pm and another one I discovered today called "am"

Yes up at this ungodly hour to travel to Brighton for a market only to get there and be told "no room at the inn!"

Therefore experienced this shock to the body for no reason and as a consequence forfitted my Saturday night pleasures for a sleep which started before Tarrant could even offer a 50/50.

So as a sacrifice for my new business I didn`t drink (well not very much) on a Saturday night for the first time since I was able to prove I was 18, and I didn`t get to see my beloved Pompey win their first game for ages on MOTD!

Left Brighton, drove home, cleaned the Tranny, did boring admin type things and now thought I`d better do the blog so I get into some sort of routine with it.

I have now been awake 12 hours and its mid afternoon on a Sunday - how life changes, once upon a lifetime ago I would have been getting home at 4.30 am on a Sunday morning!

"Youth may be wasted on the young" as Robbie said, - but they at least get their priorities right.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Phoenix from the ashes?

2005-04-06T18:01:00.000+01:00

Firstly, many thanks for the welcome!

I thought a bit of explanation as to why life is a bit busy at the moment would be in order.

Basically having spent 27 years in the exciting world of retail management I have found myself without a job twice in the last two years through no fault of my own.

So the question is - do I go back into the corporations that don`t give a sh*t about you so long as they get to enjoy kicking your soft bits on a regular basis? - OR, do I go and start my own business and make money for myself instead of for some other tos*er? - difficult one!

So here I am two and a bit weeks into developing the next retail empire to conquer the Western world, yes I have returned to my roots and I am selling rugs on a market stall! - look out Lord Philip Harris of Peckham!

I have swapped the "whistle" for jeans and tee - shirt, the shoes for trainers and the Audi A4 for a Ford Tranny!

And you know what - It feels great!

My daughter has given the newly formed machine the cool name of "Rugrageous" (a bit punky I thought, but not quite "B*ndage as in Viv westwood,) so we are all set to conquer the south coast of England and realise my dream of early retirement somewhere sunny with a trip home every other week to watch Pompey play!

So - if you want something warm and comfortable or hardwearing and durable up your passageway - give me a shout!

Greetings!

2005-04-05T18:10:00.000+01:00

Er - hello,

"New to this game" - said the virgin tomcat, so please be gentle with me!

I have been persuaded by Mr.D. (who happens to be my big Bruv,) that I should bore the blog community with "tales of the muddybank" - which is a reference to where I live, so given the time I will endeavour to provide you with some wit and pathos from my little world.

I will give advance warning that a) I am not as eloquent as bruv, b) My life is currently in a period of change and as it is pretty hectic at the moment my blogs are likely to be erratic and short, and c) as I am no longer a "desk jockey" I will not be posting my blog until the evenings - so they will probably be out of date as soon as you read them.

The site name, which was conceived by Mr.D., is a reference to a song by a punk band that I used to perform with several lives ago. From memory, it was about people who bore you with their opinions on nothing of consequence. - so the site is probably well named!

Hope this is of some interest as an introduction.

For those interested I was the drummer!